Thoughts on Italian-ness

Some random thoughts now that I have had time to digest my Italian Honeymoon… And believe me, with how much I ate digestion is not easy!

First off. I am Italian. Sounds like a crazy statement to make but lets see if I can make sense. Prior to visiting Italy I would have said that I was anything but a stereotypical Italian male. I am not prone to clutching my crotch, while sitting on the hood of my Mustang 5.0 with Little Suzy Blaring outside of Coffee Time on Highway 7. Most people say I don’t “look” Italian. My musical, movie and lifestyle choices are nowhere near what people here in Canada say Makes up the “Italian Male Stereotype”. Yet, In Italy I fit right in. I could talk to the locals and my family there easily and have a connection almost immediately.

The people in Italy are nothing like the Italo-Canadian model I find myself making fun of far too often. Perhaps I am afraid that I will be lumped in with what is generally portrayed as a somewhat misogynistic, racist and ignorant group of people. Let’s face it, Italian Americans have never been looked upon in the most favourable light. Most people think of the Sopranos, or the Godfather when Italian Americans are in the media. Any successful Italian businessman/woman is automatically assumed to have mob connections. The men are seen as generally insensitive, old fashioned wife beaters who’s social ideas froze somewhere around 1952. Italian women are seen as loud, obnoxious, kinda slutty until they are 25, then just fat old grandma’s. Let’s face it. This is how Italians are expected to be like. When I tell people that I am from an Italian family, they automatically think that they have both me and my family figured out. Call me crazy or reactionary, but that ticks me off.

Now to be sure, there are many stereotypes that ring true. My father grows tomoatoes. Lot’s of them. We eat a lot of pasta, try to feed everyone, and make a spectacular effort to make sure that the Family remains close and come before everything. BTW, by Family I mean the Nuclear Family, and not that whole “Cosa Nostra” thing WHICH I HAVE NO INVOLVEMENT IN! Sorry yelling that out is habit now. Anyway, like any group, some of the assumptions people make are grounded in the culture. Others are based on the high profile of a few members of the group, and media images. Since “The Godfather”, you’d think that based on TV and film we were all gangsters.

But, I will agree that many Italian families in Canada have clung to many old ideas, much to the detriment of their families. I also understand that this is a defensive measure. An attempt to hold on to their roots in a new land. To make it feel like home and hold on to the ideas, traditions and customs that they remember from when they were back home.

Its interesting that in Italy, most people are far more progressive than their North American counterparts. Unlike Italian-Canadian culture, Italy has moved on. So much so that Italian Canadians (like my father) now find Italian culture to be unrecognizable. I understand that now. When My “old school” Italian relatives visit Italy they want to see things they way they remember them in the 1950’s when they left. In fact, they have kept things in Canada closer to that remembered society than Italy itself has.

In the course of this they have missed out on a truly beautiful culture while in Italy.